To Let Go

       Few weeks back over a lazy weekend we watched two beautiful movies. Adaminde makan Abu(AMA)  and Pranayam. Both were sad but still feel-good movies, oozing with goodness and love. Both have sober theme. The two movies are about people in difficult situation, but does not go over board with sentiments. In spite of the inherent situational and natural tragedy it highlights the goodness and hope in human mind.

I generally do not like or empathize with most of the tear jerk movies that try milk tragedies (like Akashadooth). But then there are others like AMA and Pranayam that I have enjoyed in spite of all the tears and difficulties depicted. Few I can think of now are Koshish, kaazcha, TaareZameen Par and few English movies like one flew over the cuckoo’s nest, rain man etc.

But these movies get me thinking on how people handle situations that are really out of control. Have you ever felt helpless in front of life’s natural tragedies? Where you fight with all might and still fail or even worse when you know you will fail and even worse when you know you cannot even fight. Every person has his or her on way of handling these impossible situations. I would call it the “on-edge reaction”. Some choose self destructive on-edge reaction, where as other may have an escapist strategy. Few others may go spiritual.

My on-edge reaction is based on my belief that a one’s life has multiple parallel tracks or roles. Broadly classified as professional, family, social and spiritual. And each of these broad tracks has narrower sub tracks. So when I hit an absolute dead end at one or more tracks. I just let it go. And compensate by traversing other tracks on full speed. The progress on other facets brings some positive energy to life. And the helpless situation either withers away with time or shows me a way to fight back or worst case I get used to it or it becomes insignificant in a bigger picture.

So I say, when things are really out of control just take a deep breath and let go

Stressed out by lack of stress!

Do you feel more stressed when you are not at all in stress and less stressed when stressed out? Do you feel stressed out by lack of stress? Do you feel stressed that everyone around you are so stressed out and so worked up that you suddenly feel embarrassed about being not in stress? Do you make more use of an hour break you get between the two design reviews than the 24 hours you get on an off day?

Probably those who have some pressure at work (at least in moderation) have greater sense of accomplishment and greater work satisfaction than people who have lesser work pressure.

Ending with a thought from the black comedy movie “World’s Greatest Dad”

"I though the saddest thing in life was to be lonely, but I found that the saddest thing is to be in a crowd of people who make you feel lonely... "

The Talent Within

Second of the article motivated more by 3 idiots/five point someone and I am not surprised. It is accepted since the movie/book is on my second most passionate topic education.

The easiest way for an average IQ guy with not much real talent to earn some good money and live an honest life is to study and study hard. You may not file 100 patents or invent a bulb, but in my mother’s classic words “Ration ari medikan oru vazhi kittum”(Will get a way to buy Rice from Govt. Ration store)

If you have Gautham Menon in you no Mechanical Engineering Degree from NIT Trichi can stop you from becoming an Ace director. This is my parent’s philosophy rather than my own original. It is probably the philosophy of most of the middle class parents in our country.

Every time I wanted to sleep that extra hour, every time I wanted to play that extra hour, every time I wanted to watch that movie the day before exams, my parents nagged me or often forced me to study. And I am sure they did not kill any budding Sachin Tendulkar or Gautham Menon.

Right from early school days teacher after teacher, book after book, friend after friend talked in length about that talent within each of us. For some time I too looked for it within me. At times I felt sad that I could not find that talent with in me. Around me I did see few people who were hugely talented. But then I do wonder is it necessary that we should have some big talent within?

This talk of everyone having some hidden talent and allowing that talent to come out etc is true for select few. But majority like me are born just normal. As a kid I did not have any original Ambition. Even today I feel that if allowed the choice to do what I love rest of my life, I would probably sleep to death. This late in life I am still searching for that hidden talent. So I am thankful to this world for making me what I am today.

Somehow I do not believe everyone is born with some talent, some talent that if understood would make you one in a million, rich and famous. I rather believe there can be average men/women, who shall lead average life, earn a decent living doing an honest days work where they may not excel but still do the best they can and live happy.

Anyone could be among those average and they need not be ashamed or unhappy about the missing talent that will make them great. Better be happy and content about being average than being unhappy and un-content searching for that missing talent

Nostalgia - Too much

This post is based on a comment from my office friend AS on the post Nostalgia.

“If you extremely wish to re-live the past then you are not doing enough to love the present”

Well I agree with him a happy smile on the face as you recollect past is fine and healthy. If you find yourself longing excessively for the past and remembering the past brings in a huge sense of loss then definitely you have lost you soul somewhere after that past. Looking back 10 years on from now you will have nothing to remember this day.

It is true we should live in the present. Move on in life, make new friends, try new things, and learn. After all it is important to forget too.

On our way forward

Thoughts at end of a Day at office

We have a duty to correct our mistake
But it is our right to make that mistake

We have a duty to get that picture perfect
But it is our right to retake on that defect

Life of Pi

It is after long three months that I am reading a book and that is a long time by my standards. The “life of Pi” has been in my room for long and I never read it. Of late the internet has caught up with me and I have started reading more on internet.

The book is low on thrills and frills, bit high on facts and philosophy. None the less I like it a lot. Half way thorough the book, toping my “favorite thoughts chart” is the one below.


“I know zoos are no longer in people’s good graces. Religion faces the same problem. Certain illusions about freedom plague them both”. Life of pi – Yann Martel

Indian constitution gives us the right to freely profess, practice and propagate religion. But then people may be right when they say that preaching one religion is against other religion’s right to practice.
Not only freedom of religion but freedom in every sense is dogged by certain illusions.
Discipline and justice often conflict with freedom. Discussing freedom and rebels with a group of friends, one friend commented “All my friends smoke and drink but I don’t, so I am the real rebel. All my friends oppose parents and teachers authority but I confirm, so I am the real rebel”.

At times freedom becomes very dictatorial. In this case you lose the freedom of not exercising that freedom.

picture: copied of-course.

A Useful Handicap - The Unsaid

On first thought I was to put this along with the “A Useful handicap” post. But on a second thought I did not post it. Now on third lack of thought it is here.

It is my strength that touches the sky like the shoot
But it is my weaknesses that hold me strong like the root
It is the not the moon that is a beautiful
It is the darkness around it that makes it beautiful

A Useful Handicap

The common bathrooms and toilets in a government college hostel are unchallenged in lack of cleanliness. The misery of the place starts with the careless way the contractor built it. Then walk in the students who use it with equal disrespect and carelessness. The bathrooms in our college hostels too were dark and dingy places considered as unavoidable mess by students and cleaning staff. Floors littered with soap covers and pieces of clothing left over by seemingly busy but actually careless users. The constant use and lack of proper drainage of water and ventilation left the walls damp. Green algae has grown out in places where the tiles had given away or worn out. Floors remain slippery. Then there is the damp unclean smell mixed with smell of a variety of soaps and shampoos. Big spiders would have made there webs at safer heights where the students would not care to disturb and the good old cleaner would not bother to clean. The doors were creaking and wet. The doors need some brain and brawn to handle.

In my Floor in college hostel there was this one bathroom with an added handicap. It had a mal-functioning tap. Courtesy the lack of water, this one was not used by anyone. It remained dry. It got time to remain dry which ensured the well being of the bathroom floors. The green algae never bothered the white tiled walls. Worried that he has not done anything for this bathroom the cleaner always looked up and cleaned the cobwebs in this one. It was not cluttered by various junk the students leave by.

By accident I found out that a precise 3 turns and pull upwards made this tap work. It remained free for my private use then on. At regular intervals few others too inspected the tap, on failing to operate it they moved on, with few words of curse. But I always felt this was the best in the entire hostel.

Opportunity

“every blessing ignored becomes a curse”.
Polo Cohello in Alchemist

Quite true I should agree. All average men live with these curses. But there have been times in our life when we let go of an opportunity after a lot of thought.

At school I had an opportunity to visit Lakshadweep at a huge concession rate. I always loved travel. This was my great chance. But on the flip side this meant I will miss my much awaited Christmas vacation. Ten days spend with my parents, meeting my brother. My friends reasoned that I will not miss home in all the excitement of the trip. But yes my home shall miss me. I gave it a miss. I enjoyed that vaccation the most and back from vacation I felt great.

There are few “well thought” misses we give to opportunities in life. People may state those as our failures. But these well thought missed opportunities are an important factor that define what you are.

But then I agree there are some misses that are curses too.

Strolling through the path of time
With idle thoughts that are mine
I saw her pass by
She was my dream, my life’s golden lane
To her I cried out in wane
Why did you have to leave me in pain
With empathy she wined
I had given you a chance
It was you who left with just a glance

Colour of the Sky

My two and a half year old nephew was busy doing his daily quota of colouring. I sat near him reading editorial form The Hindu, also giving him some vital consulting in his task. Some time into colouring the scenery in his colouring book, he stopped and asked me what is the colour of the Sky. I spontaneously opened my mouth to say blue, but then I thought of acting like a smart guy. So I motivated him to paint the sky as he saw it when he was outside. He painted the sky red, yellow and orange, with grey clouds.
I was pleased. I had just stopped from misdirecting him. His sky shall remain colourful red, orange and yellow till an enlightened kinder garden teacher or a smart friend corrects him. Then on he too will paint the sky as blue. All through my life too a lot of people form parents, teachers to friends played a huge role in painting my world. And now many things around me might have wrong colours. But I have been well trained to be colour blind :-)

Laziness is the mother of MANY inventions

As a software engineer some of the shortest and smartest codes I have written are just because I was lazy to write bigger code or lazy to search the internet to find if there is a tried and tested way of solving the problem.
Facing a problem I have two options
1. Google (or read) and find out the by-book way of doing it.
2. Adjust with the commands I already know. And this lazy adjustment has made me do a lot of tricky things in life. In this process I have many a times thought
“Wheel should have been invented by a very lazy guy who was tired of lifting things”

But putting forward this argument to friends, I noticed conspicuous absence of the 3rd choice in my list
3. Not solving the problem at all and leaving it for others to solve. :-)

So I noted lazily that the absence of third option is also important.